Elder Chandler's Address

Elder Jeremy Lyn Chandler
MTC Mailbox #108
FL-FTL 0413
2005 N. 900 East.
Provo, Utah 84604-1793

I know someone famous

So guess what....I know someone famous. My sister in-law, Kara, plays the french horn for the orchestra at temple square. They have like 9 horns and only need 3-4 every week so we aren't sure when she will play with them, but My sister in law is cooler then anyone else. Especially because the more I think about all of my friends are the oldest in their family or don't have sister in-laws.

Swine flu Paranoia

You can never be too careful

The Hobbit

So for my humanities class we need to read the hobbit by next Tuesday. I can officially say that I have done so. You guys aren't allowed to tell anyone but I stayed up all night last night reading it, it is a really great book.

I thought when Gandalf came and saved the day against the zombies was very predictable. And there happens to be a boat just sitting there waiting for them on the other side of the river in Mirkwood. But overall very good very entertaining book.

Eric is trying to convince me to read the trilogy but I'm not sure on that one, that is a lot reading and there is no way I could finish them all before my Mission. We'll see, I might attempt to start it but not guarantee finishing it. I also have begun to enjoy reading. I have been working pretty hard to develop that and up here is a really good environment for that, because there is nothing else to do besides read.

So I want to very clear on this I enjoyed the hobbit not my humanities class. That class is going to be the death of me. The subject is dumb, most of the discussions are dumb and how people get the meaning of life out of a movie that had not plot conflict or strong characters is beyond me. And now for a test that I am taking on Tuesday I got to write an essay on how that movie is "great art." They don't even give me a chance to disagree I have to agree with these people. That indoctrination, not education. AHHHH I hate that class.

I don't Like my roomate

Yah, I really don't like my room mate. All he ever does is look up BYU stats and you never want to plan something on the most sacred of days, Game Day. You try to talk to him while he is looking up his stats and he will bite your head off and get mad at you.

And the worst idea I ever had was looking up the cougar fight song because it was brought up in conversation. We found the MP3 of it and he started singing the song and after got this 3 year old smile on his face and started running around our tiny little dorm like a psychotic man. And then started pretending like BYU just scored and doing push ups like ROTC guys. He is so weird it is quite scary. And for our first date up here we are taking girls to the BYU game in the movie theater. My roomate Looses!!!!

From The Resident On Red Neck Drive

How Gubmint Works

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of
a desert. Congress said, "Someone may steal from it at night." So
they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without
instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two
people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do
time studies.

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the
tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and
hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So They
created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer,
Then hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"
So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an
Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal
Secretary.

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one
Year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost."

So they laid off the night watchman.

NOW slowly..

Let it sink in.

Quietly, we go like sheep to slaughter.

Does anybody remember the reason given for the establishment of
the DEPARTMENT OF ENERGY .... During the Carter Administration?

Anybody?

Anything?

No?

Didn't think so!

Bottom line. We've spent several hundred billion dollars in support of
an agency ... the reason for which not one person who reads this can remember!

Ready??
It was very simple ... and at the time, everybody thought it very
appropriate.

The Department of Energy was instituted on 8-04-1977.
TO LESSEN OUR DEPENDENCE ON FOREIGN OIL.

Hey, pretty efficient, huh???

AND NOW, IT'S 2009 -- 32 YEARS LATER -- AND THE BUDGET FOR THIS "NECESSARY" DEPARTMENT IS AT $24.2 BILLION A YEAR. THEY HAVE 16,000 FEDERAL EMPLOYEES AND APPROXIMATELY 100,000 CONTRACT EMPLOYEES; AND LOOK AT THE JOB THEY HAVE DONE! THIS IS WHERE YOU SLAP YOUR FOREHEAD AND SAY, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?"

Ah, yes -- good ole bureaucracy.

AND, NOW, WE ARE GOING TO TURN THE BANKING SYSTEM, HEALTH CARE AND THE AUTO INDUSTRY OVER TO THE SAME GOVERNMENT?